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Eurobeat, Theatre 2000, Burley Village Hall

HOW can I even begin to describe to you the glorious tackiness that is Eurobeat? On the other hand, if you’ve ever watched Eurovision – and who hasn’t? – then you’ll know.

An audience blowing brightly coloured hooters, shaking clackers (little hands that sound like rattles), waving flags and cheering, accompanies the ‘contestants’  throughout this wonderful send-up that is performed in true excellent Theatre 2000 style.

Hosts Sergei Puukolisto (Bryan Newman) and Boyka (Christine Duell), bewigged and wearing enough sequins to rival the brightest Christmas tree, bring the house down with their dubious pronunciations, and as for the contestants…

In order to succeed in performing intentionally badly you have to be very good indeed, and in this UK amateur premiere everyone was a star. I can’t remember a single song but I’ll be hard-pressed to forget the performances, not least the glistening bodies of the Russians, the bad-tempered Hungarians, the myopic Persephone from Greece, the chilling Germans and the sickly sweet Irishman, while Italy, Poland, Iceland, the UK and Sweden are also beautifully portrayed.

At our performance Ireland was such a clear winner that I suspect bribery - in which case, where is my money please? I voted for you too.

Linda Kirkman   

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